Meet Malaika Neri, originally hailing from Mumbai who made her way to Paris after an already global career across India, the US, and Germany–to name a few. She tells us about discovering the city of light during the time of the COVID-19 pandemic and what experiences she’s gained now as a Professional Matchmaker, “on a mission to help professionals find love.”
What is your Paris story?
Hey! My name is Malaika Neri. I was born and raised in Mumbai, India, then lived in six different countries on four continents before finally landing in Paris, for a life of good wine, fresh croissants, and constant cultural exchange.
Five years ago, I lived in Bonn, Germany, where I’d moved with my previous career as an economist combating climate change with the UN and international NGOs.
My job with U.N. Environment Programme allowed me to work from home; Bonn had only one coffee shop open during the day (Starbucks…). I started looking for cities where I could have a workspace during the day, and an active social life at night.
Paris – with its plethora of cafés and co-working spaces – met that need. Plus, the food was great. I moved in with friends who had a spare room in their 18th century Marais apartment, and it has been my home ever since.
Today, I’m a full-time Professional Matchmaker serving global professionals in Europe. I work with ambitious professionals ages 27 to 40 to connect them with like-minded individual for a long-term serious relationship. They are structured, logical, and straightforward people – most of whom are expats themselves – passionate about their careers and ready to finding true love with the right person.
It’s a joy to wake up every day in the city of love, to fulfill my life’s purpose in helping these smart, successful individuals meet their soulmate.
Tell us about this spot you chose.
These photos were taken in the Jardin de Luxembourg, in the 5th arrondissement of Paris. I live just down the street. I came here often during lockdown for early morning walks on cold winter mornings with my friend Masha, who is from Russia. We’d find each other near the fountain in the centre of the park, and spend the next hour catching up on each other’s lives as Paris slowly came alive around us. Masha’s company and the bracing air warmed me up and brought so much joy to the long days of confinement. They reminded me that we can always find something to look forward to – a harbinger of joy despite a season of incertitude.
What has been your favorite moment in Paris so far?
The other night, I exited the Olympia concert hall near Opéra in the 9th, laughing with my partner and a few close friends. We had purchased tickets a year ago for a concert that was postponed to this past October.
Still on a high from the thumping beat of electronic music, we were on our way to a nearby pub for a round of drinks before heading home for the night.
My arm around my friend as she told me about her roommate, I lifted my head to spot my friend Louis, whom I hadn’t seen in a few weeks, standing on the sidewalk. We reunited serendipitously with exclamations of surprise, and walked together to the bar across the street for beers and frites.
In that moment, surrounded by my closest friends in this city that can so often feel isolating and incomprehensible, I felt pure bliss. To my own surprise, I had succeeded. I had found love and friendship with genuinely kind, funny, easygoing people who, just like me, loved intercultural relationships and lived for new experiences. And there they were, standing in a circle in the 9th arrondissement at 11:30pm on a Friday night, smiling, chatting, happy to be alive.
Tell us your most challenging experience as an expat.
If I start describing the challenges of living in Paris, I might not stop. The French love affair with paperwork, the aversion to using modern technology, the nonexistence of excellent customer service, and the socially accepted racist, sexist discourse and chauvinistic behaviour present throughout the language and civilisation… it’s enough to make any independent woman go completely mad.
I grew up in a country that produced a [female] Prime Minister, a [female] President, and the [female] former CEO of PepsiCo. Every week, I’m astonished by the fact that these achievements remain near-impossible for women in France.
But I chose to move here, and I choose to live here. I have to choose to accept those things. Lots of yoga, meditating for 15 minutes every morning, and a deep curiosity for understanding French culture through long conversations with my friends and partner are getting me there, step by baby step.
How do you meet people in Paris?
My first week here, I joined Powerhiking Paris, which organises hikes through the forests around the city every weekend. Walking together, rain or shine, I made several close friends – both French and other expats – most of whom are intelligent, well-educated expats who moved here for work or study.
This obsession with sports also helped me find love: I met my partner through Urban Challenge, an outdoor sports bootcamp organising daily group workout sessions in parks throughout the city.
I’ve also tried several [indoor] activities: breakfast with Creative Mornings Paris, Sunday afternoon yoga with Nicolas Maloufi, rooftop drinks with Social Girls in Paris, and late night cocktails with Expats Paris.
My biggest recommendation is to simply say “Yes!” to every invitation.
Yes to sipping fizzy lemonade at the Quai de la Rapée with a Romanian biologist after a 20km hike.
Yes to crossing the city for red wine on a creaky wooden peniche on the Seine, and dancing the night away with a group of smart, beautiful women from my motherland.
Yes to warm capuccinos with a dark-haired banker in running shoes, who turned out to be my soulmate.
What advice do you have for others wanting to move abroad?
Moving abroad can be one of the most deeply-fulfilling decisions of your life. It can also be the hardest, most socially isolating experience that two years of corona didn’t give you.
The easiest way to move to Europe is to apply for a degree study programme. Many of them offer scholarships; all of them give you an immediate network of like-minded people, and access to trained professionals who are invested in helping you live and work in the country of your choice.
If you want to move to France, you can download a detailed guide to French visas, prepared by French relocation expert and American Expat Alison Lounes, available for sale on her website.
How do you deal with homesickness?
It’s so hard living oceans away from my family! I miss my parents, but also my cousins, aunts, and uncles. I ache for our ancient insider jokes, reminiscing about our grandparents, and sharing our family passion: music.
These last two years, punctuated by various lockdowns, meant zero family time. It was both a blessing and a curse: I had a lot of extra time to bond with my partner through long bike rides and longer evenings cooking dinner together at home, but I missed my people and our shared history.
The only option was to go virtual: we started monthly Zoom calls on Sunday afternoons. They were a chance to reunite and share the same jokes and stories, albeit virtually.
We sang for each other’s birthdays. We shared health updates and hospital visits. We discussed the difficulty of braving yet another week or month stuck at home.
Despite the distance – or perhaps because of it – these Zoom calls were one of the highlights of the pandemic, and brought my globally-dispersed family closer despite the kilometres between us. It made me feel a bit less homesick, and gave me a buoy until our next family reunion, next month.
How can people keep following your story?
You can read more about my work as a Professional Matchmaker on the blog (including tips on how to find your own partner), and follow along on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram.
You can also follow my Paris stories on Instagram.
